Being an Uchiha
by Don't Trust the Snake
Summary: When Sasuke finally loses it, Itachi goes to find him and ends up discovering more than he ever thought he would. Maybe being an Uchiha isn't all it's cracked up to be after all...


**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

**This is the extended version of part 11 of my story "Things Learned." You techinically don't _have_ to read the original part or the rest of that story... But since I have the opportunity to shamelessly self-advertise... GO! READ MY STORY! LEAVE A REVIEW! (or a few reviews...) It's true. Anyhow, if you choose not to go and read the other story *sad face* then all you need to know is that this is Itachi's POV, in a world where Orochimaru was responsible for the slaughter of the Uchiha clan, and Itachi never went anywhere.**

**A special thanks goes out to midnight-phoenix1997 and ylfrettub, for asking for the extended version. **

**And to my mysterious reviewer who spoke of icing and cakes and fish... I know you are not goldfish. My apologies. :) BEST. REVIEW. EVER. I love you, whoever you are. Here ya go!**

**Hopefully this part will be considered as good as the original. And now... I will stop talking.**

**Enjoy, won't you?**

* * *

I remember of lot of what life was like when our parents were still alive. Some memories are clearer than others, and some are a struggle to call to mind. There are happy memories, memories of having a family, and there are sad memories of how our parents couldn't relate to us. There are funny memories simply about life, and there are heartbreaking memories about what should have happened and never did. And there is one memory, out of all those others, that persists in being as clear in my mind as if it had happened yesterday.

What I remember is sitting at home on the couch, listening to Father extolling my many virtues, and Sasuke, who couldn't have been more than seven, running into the house waving a paper excitedly, exclaiming, "I got a perfect score! The best in my class!" His face was all smiles, and his eyes were huge, filled with pure joy at having done something Father would be proud of him for.

Father didn't even look at him. He just kept on telling me how pleased he with me. I honestly don't know if he even noticed that Sasuke had come through the door.

Sasuke had remained with his small hand in the air, paper clenched in pale fingers, for only a few seconds. Then he had lowered his hand and looked almost in puzzlement at the paper he held. The expression of confusion on his face and in his eyes seemed to perfectly convey his thoughts. _Why? Why won't he look at me and tell me that I've done a good job? It's a perfect score, isn't it? What's wrong? I did everything right, didn't I? __Why won't he _look_ at me?_

Our mother, who at least had noticed that Sasuke had come home, came over, looked at Sasuke's paper and congratulated him in that absent voice of hers. But while both Sasuke and I knew that she meant her praise, we also knew that she wasn't really proud of him, not like she was proud of me. It was just what one said in this type of situation, when one was a parent.

They loved Sasuke. I know they did, if only because he was their child. But that love was something they would never show him, because no matter how hard he tried, he would never be better than me.

He should have wilted, slumped, deflated, whatever you want to call it. He should have reacted crushed, because I _know_ that he was. If nothing else, a few tears should have leaked out of his blacker-than-usual eyes. Instead, his face went hard, very hard, and he gave a short bow to Mother before folding his paper into a perfect square and very deliberately placing it in the trash can, after which he calmly left through the door he had come running in not moments before.

I was worried, obviously, but I endured my father's praise for another five minutes, sitting silently before him as he told me exactly why I was perfect. Finally he was done, and I could exit the house in search of my poor younger sibling.

I searched the immediate area first, even though I really didn't expect to find him anywhere close by. He was upset, and when that happened, he didn't ever stay close. He always felt as if he had to go as far away as he could, so that no one could find him. Fortunately, I'd acted as more of a parent than Mother and Father, and as a result, had spent enough time running after him that I knew nearly all of his hiding places.

Holding on to a vague hope that he was still in the village, I checked all of his usual hiding places, and even stopped by Naruto's house, just in case. But he wasn't anywhere I looked, and I was I forced to acknowledge that the only place left that he could have gone was the forest. That was a bad sign. He only ever went to the forest when he was really, _really_ upset.

When I found him, he was throwing kunai and shruiken at the trees surrounding him, his face twisted in anger as he threw, again and again, then retrieved his weapons and started all over again.

For a while, I just stood there, leaning against a tree with my arms folded, watching. I knew that he knew that I was there, but I also knew that I had to let him get out at least a little bit of his anger before I tried to talk to him.

His form wasn't bad, and over half of his weapons hit where he wanted them to, but I knew that for once, he wasn't trying to perfect his throwing. He was just trying to get some emotion out.

Finally, he turned around, wiping an arm across his sweaty face, saying, "Did Mother send you to bring me back?"

"No," I answered him. "I came of my own accord."

He turned away, and I chanced walking up behind him, stopping when I was only a few feet away from him. "You okay?"

I hadn't really expected him to answer, because he usually didn't in situations like this, so I was surprised when he responded, his voice uncharacteristically vicious, even for him.

"I hate them."

"What?"

He turned around, his face harder than any child's should be, and I almost expected the Sharingan to begin spinning in his eyes. "I hate them. Mother and Father. They don't care about me and I hate them."

On instinct, I opened my mouth to tell him that they did care, but then I shut my mouth, because that wasn't what he wanted to hear. Not from me. I couldn't give him any reassurance of our parent's feelings simply because I was not them. And besides, it seemed like he actually meant it.

His response to my silence was a very soft, "That's what I thought."

He was angry. He was very angry. He was angry enough that he didn't care that he was letting me see exactly how angry was. But I figured that there was nothing I could do, so I sat down on the ground, and after a moment of hesitation, he did the same. I should have talked to him, but at the time, I didn't realize that that was what he needed.

We had stayed there for another hour or so, before he fell asleep and I carried him home.

It took me until ten years later to realize exactly what he was hiding with that anger of his.

Since he had come back from Orochimaru, Sasuke, to all appearances, had been doing quite well. The first night he had returned, he had essentially had a breakdown, but even an Uchiha has to show emotion _sometime. _The fact that I sat through that with him, and never mentioned it again was something I think he was grateful for, but you never really could tell with Sasuke. But aside from that one moment of weakness, everything seemed to be going well. The villagers, though still cautious, had, for the most part, accepted him easily enough, while people like Naruto and Sakura had been ecstatic at his return. The first few days had been strange, but soon enough, his presence in the village was nothing out of the ordinary. I wasn't home often enough to observe his every action, but from what I saw of him, everything seemed fine. Yes, there were days when he was moody, and yes, sometimes he would descend into that storm-cloud state of his, but he could be excused for that, if only on the basis that he _was_ an Uchiha, so I assumed that nothing was wrong.

It was made somewhat painfully obvious that my assumptions were farther from the truth then I would have even dreamed when I came home one day to find Karin and Jugo huddled on the couch, their arms around themselves, looking like they were about to cry.

They both looked up when I opened the door, but before I had a chance to ask them what in all heck was wrong, I heard a colossal smashing noise and my little brother's voice shouting, "NO, I DON'T NEED YOUR STUPID HELP! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, SO LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL OF YOU JUST STOP IT!"

There was another loud crashing noise, then an outburst of very loud and passionate cursing.

A few seconds later, Suigetsu came bounding down the stairs, his face livid, his teeth bared in frustration. He flung himself facedown on the ground and wrapped his hands around his head, squeezing it with his elbows and swearing.

"What's going on?" I asked cautiously, wondering what in all the world could be wrong with my brother.

Karin let out a sniff. "Sasuke-kun is angry."

"I gathered that," I said, somewhat dryly. The yelling had been a little bit of a clue, as well as the fact that his team only looked so lost when he was angry. "But _what's_ _going_ _on_?"

"His girlfriend said something," Suigetsu snarled from the floor. "I don't know what, but it majorly pissed him off, as I'm sure you can tell. He pretty much went ballistic, and when we tried to go and talk to him, he trashed his room and nearly killed us all. I sent Karin and Jugo down here and tried to talk to him, but he just yelled and threw his table at me."

"He didn't actually nearly kill us all," Jugo said quietly. "He just…almost nearly killed us all." At his words, Karin let out a kind of mewl and curled even further into herself.

That was how they always reacted when Sasuke was angry. Because when Sasuke was angry, he would lock himself away, and lash out at anyone who tried to help him, so Suigetsu would mirror his anger, Jugo would go quiet and sad, and Karin would start crying.

And me? I would pick up the pieces and try to make sure that everything was resolved before the next day.

Oh, joy. I really did not need this right now.

But no one else was going to deal with it, so I let out a sigh. "I'll go talk to him," I told the three ninja. In response, Jugo looked at me gratefully, Karin nodded her tear-streaked face, and Suigetsu just continued breathing heavily from the ground.

Kissing my nice, relaxing shower goodbye, I scaled the stairs to Sasuke's room and knocked on the door.

Unsurprisingly, there was no answer, so I tried the handle.

The door opened without a sound, and I stepped into the battleground that was my brother's room.

"Suigetsu wasn't kidding," I murmured to myself, looking at the smashed closet door, the overturned and splintered table, the broken chairs, the shattered lamp, the thrown books and the scattered weapons. I wondered what Hinata could have said to him, because I know for a fact that she is one of the nicest people in the world, and she wouldn't even dream of hurting Sasuke in any small way. She cares about him far too much.

I picked my way across the broken remains of what was usually a pristine room and walked through the door that led to the balcony.

Not sensing his chakra signature anywhere nearby, I let out a sigh, palming my face before I made my way back through the mess. That was going to be a problem for Sasuke when he came back. He hated it when his room was out of order, and this was kind of… Yeah.

I went back downstairs, and when the three members of his team looked up, their faces hopeful (Jugo), pleading (Karin), and unwillingly concerned (Suigetsu), all I said was, "He left. I'll go find him and see if I can find out what's wrong while I'm at it."

Karin and Jugo nodded, while Suigetu's face turned murderous again, and he once more wrapped his head in his arms, swearing under his breath, his curses punctuated by "idiot" "Sasuke" "stupid" "me" and "why?" I still have yet to figure out if Sasuke was the one that Suigetsu was referring to as an idiot, or if that was a self-referral.

Before I left, I told Sasuke's team not to wait up, but, seeing as Sasuke is essentially their parent, I knew the wouldn't relax until he came home.

As I left the grounds of the Uchiha complex, I was suddenly reminded of that day ten years ago, when he had left, when he had needed to get away, and this time, I didn't even bother going anywhere but the forest. If nothing else, it just felt right.

I could hear him before I could see him, and I knew it was him, because of the speed and rhythm of the noises I was hearing. I was fairly certain that the heavy thunks that were assailing my ears were indicative of him beating the life out of a tree or two, and I almost felt bad for the trees. Sasuke hits _hard_.

Just like that day long ago, once I came in sight of him, I stopped, leaned against a tree, and watched him.

This time he wasn't using shruiken and kunai to abuse the trees, but his own hands. I couldn't stop myself from wincing as I watched him ram his fists into the tree trunks, occasionally leaving bloody stains on the bark. I wanted to stop him, but I somehow didn't think that that would be a good idea. He was breathing in ragged, panting gasps that I could hear even from where I stood, and his arms were shaking. I couldn't see them, but I suspected his eyes were wider than they should have been.

He was using nothing but physical force, and it was at least an hour before he stopped, his body wracked by his breaths, and the sky dark with the coming night.

His back was to me, and I could see the way that his bleeding hands were clenched into fists at his sides. Those were going to be a pain to clean up and bandage.

"Feeling better?" I asked lightly

Sasuke turned his head to the side, just slightly, so that he could catch the barest glimpse of me over his shoulder. "Not really."

"Didn't think so," I said, straightening from my position against the tree and walking forward until I was standing at his side. His eyes were on the ground now, and I focused my own gaze on the drops of blood that were slowly falling from his fist.

"That looks like it hurts," I said conversationally, and Sasuke half lifted one hand, looking at it before responding with a noncommittal, "Hn."

I allowed us to stand in silence for a moment, me still focusing on his hand, and him focusing on the ground. When I looked up to his face, I found it disturbingly impassive.

"Feel like talking?" I asked.

"No."

Wow. So unexpected, that reply.

"Pity. I promised your team I'd find out what was wrong."

"Like they care," Sasuke muttered, very quietly.

I shot him a quick, curious glance, and found him glaring daggers at the ground beneath his feet.

He felt my eyes on him and met my gaze, deadpanning, "It's always about what's wrong, you know that? It's just no one cares once they find out."

I thought that was a curious thing to say, and my expression must have conveyed that impression, because Sasuke turned away, his face hardening. I could almost feel him locking himself deeper and deeper inside of himself. I tried not to frown, because as much as I was used to this, even after all the years he'd been gone, it still hurt to have my own brother lock me out like that.

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, Sasuke said, in a very matter-of-fact voice, "I hate them, you know."

I blinked twice, thrown by the statement, then began to feel uneasy as I realized that the similarities between this day and that day ten years ago were far too many to be comfortable. Mentally shaking off thoughts of that day, I responded to him, saying, "Ah, who?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Everyone."

"Ah, how much of everyone?"

He gave me a flat look. "_Everyone."_

"I see," I said tactfully. Apparently he actually did want to talk. "Care to expound?"

He shrugged again, saying, "I've just hated everyone since I came back from-" He cut himself short, then shook his head angrily and continued, "Since I came back from _him._"

At that, I could do nothing but let out a deep sigh. Since returning from Orochimaru, Sasuke hadn't said much about the subject. In fact, he'd said nearly nothing, including the snake-man's name. All that we who cared about Sasuke had found out was from the Hokage, and even though he had promised to explain everything to us, all he had said was that Sasuke had left on his orders, on a mission. He refused to diverge any more than that, at Sasuke's request. And none of us—including me—were brave enough to confront Sasuke about _that_, so, naturally, we felt like we had to tread carefully. The Hokage requested that if Sasuke was unwilling to share, we all just needed to welcome him back and act like nothing had happened. Well, we could welcome him back just fine, but how in all the world were we supposed to pretend that none of that had happened? All of us, from me down to Sakura, felt the ache of missing Sasuke all those years, and even if he was back now, it wasn't like we could just ignore that fact that he had left us.

Added to all that was the fact that, sooner or later, every problem Sasuke had seemed to come back to Orochimaru. And since he never actually talked about Orochimaru, all of us were left with no idea what to do to help him. His team Taka knew more than the rest of us, but it seemed that even they were at a loss. Obviously, this problem would have to be confronted sooner or later.

Unfortunately for me, I had the impression that _now_ was going to be the time that it was going to have to be confronted.

I let out a deep enough sigh that Sasuke's eyes flicked back to me for just a moment, then I asked, "Why exactly do you hate them, and what does returning from him have to do with anything?"

His voice was deceptively careless as he said, "I hate them because they hate me, and they've hated me ever since I came back."

I should have been surprised at that statement, but I wasn't, not really. Sasuke…Sasuke has an interesting way of viewing the world. Interesting and usually very wrong.

So instead of demanding why he thought that, I just said, "Hmm."

For a long while, we just stood in silence, and had I been anyone else, I would have started shifting uncomfortably, knowing that I was the one who was going to have to initiate the confrontation that was to come. Seeing as I was Itachi Uchiha, there was no uncomfortable shifting, only me letting out a breath through my nose before I bluntly asked, "What did Hinata say to you?"

The tensing of Sasuke's entire body was instantaneous. His words seemed literally ripped from the back of his throat. "Who," he growled, "told you about that?"

I closed my eyes, willing my own body to remain relaxed. "Suigetsu," I said easily.

The growl he let out was practically animalistic. "I will kill him."

Disturbingly enough, Sasuke sounded like he actually meant it.

Letting out another breath through my nose, I said, "I figured that it couldn't be that bad, because Hinata isn't exactly someone prone to scathing and hurtful comments." I lapsed back into silence for a moment before saying, "Do you care to tell me what she said?"

The fist flying towards my face wasn't a surprise, and I easily caught Sasuke's clenched hand.

"You have no right to pry into my personal affairs," Sasuke hissed through teeth clenched as tightly as his fist.

"On the contrary, little brother. I have every right."

With a strangled yell, Sasuke twisted his hips, one leg flying up to clip me on the side of the head. The blow was strong enough that it potentially could have knocked me out, but I released his hand and dropped into a crouch, my own leg instinctively sweeping out to knock his foot out from under him.

On reflection, I probably shouldn't have responded like that, but being an Uchiha prodigy and all, I couldn't really help it.

He retaliated by neatly flipping in place, clearly intending to bring his airborne feet down on my outstretched leg.

Obviously, I wasn't just going to stay there, so I spun on the ground and kicked upwards, and just like that, we were fighting as if our very lives depended on it, bypassing all gen or ninjitsus, relying on only our physical prowess to try to beat the other into submission.

For a few minutes, it was only block, strike, retreat, attack, then Sasuke began punctuating his attacks with words.

"If you think-" _punch_ "-that you have any right-" _kick_ "-to try and find out what I-" _block_ "-am going through-" _combo kick_ "-then you-" _head butt_ "-are sorely-" _punch, punch_ "-mistaken!"

Now I was slightly confused. All I had asked was what Hinata had said. I hadn't asked what he was going through, though now, of course, I was curious. And I fully intended to find out what he meant.

"I'm your brother," I responded, leaping far enough away that I could speak without having to defend myself against the homicidal actions of my brother. "As I said, I have every right."

"No, you have no right!" Sasuke yelled, lunging at me once more, and then we were fighting again.

My own actions were methodical, instinctive, but Sasuke's were pushed by a burning rage that I swear I could actually _feel. _What could be making him so angry? Why was he like this? I had _never _seen him in the hold of a rage as absolute as this one, and believe me when I say that I had been privy to all of Sasuke's worst moments. I tell you, the boy has some angry issues. But I had never seen anything like this before. If nothing else, I was fairly certain that he had never tried to kill me before, and I was near positive that he was trying to commit fratricide now.

Before long, I had to leap back yet again, this time to catch my breath, because not even I couldn't go on forever when confronted with the raging maniac my brother had become.

So we stared at each other from across the distance, both of us breathing hard, until Sasuke took a deep breath and said scornfully. "You're just like everyone else. You don't care. No one has ever cared. Not you, not my so-called friends, not-" his breath caught. "Not Mother and Father."

And suddenly, it was painfully clear what was the matter.

"What did Hinata say?" I asked again, this time urgently. I still could not imagine that anything that girl said could be mean, but I had to know what exactly had set him off and made him think of our parents.

Once again, Sasuke responded by attacking me with a viciousness I am sure that he couldn't have learned here.

Now I was having to think, to watch myself, because Sasuke was moving far faster than he used to be able to, and his fists and feet seemed to be everywhere at once, sweeping, punching, kicking, slapping, and I was nearly undone trying to defend myself against my brother.

Fortunately for me, if Sasuke had one weakness, it was that when he was angry, there was only so much focus he could spare for anything other than his anger, and after a kick to the chest sent him stumbling, I lunged at him and pinned him by the throat to a tree trunk, my grip on his neck nearly a stranglehold.

I was out of breath and panting, trying to figure out where to go from here, but the choice was taken away from me when I looked at my brother's face and saw a reflective sheen covering his cheeks.

Astonished beyond belief, my free hand came up of its own accord and touched directly under Sasuke's eyes. I pulled my fingers—my _wet_ fingers—away and asked, "Sasuke, are you crying?"

All he did was stare straight at me and clench his jaw, while the tears kept on running down his cheeks. That wasn't anger in his eyes. That was pain. And now I was certain that that had always been pain.

Whatever Hinata had said was no longer important.

"Sasuke," I said gently, releasing his throat, "What happened that night?"

Both of us knew what I was talking about, and though Sasuke's eyes kept on staring at me, I knew he wasn't seeing me anymore. His voice was hesitant as he answered, almost stuttering, and there was no doubt in my mind how hard this was for him.

"Mother and Father were talking in their room. I was reading. We heard screams, and Mother and Father came and found me. They told me to stay where I was, and that they were going to go see what was wrong. Before they could…" Sasuke shuddered, clearly unconsciously. "_He _came through the door. He said we had a beautiful house. Then he looked at me, and his eyes lit up, and he told Mother and Father that they had a beautiful son as well." Sasuke shuddered again, and I nearly joined him at seeing the naked horror in his eyes. "He asked them if he could have me… They said no. He grabbed Mother by her hair… He slashed her throat open. Father screamed. I never thought I would hear him scream. He dropped to his knees to catch Mother, and _he_ stabbed him in the back of his head, then in the chest, then in the back."

Sasuke was shaking now, the tears coming faster as the memories he had kept locked up for so long finally spilled out. His hands were fisted in my shirt, clinging to me like I was a lifeline, like I was the only thing left for him in the world. Which, in a way, I was. I grabbed his shoulders to keep him upright as he said, "I had to _watch,_ Itachi. I had to _watch _while I saw the blood that meant the end of their lives run out of them. And then- and then he stepped over to me, and he grabbed my chin in his hands-" Despite the way he was shaking, Sasuke's voice was monotone, but his eyes were borderline hysterical now, and I knew that the person I held in my arms was not a man, but a boy who had just watched his parents being ripped away from him. "-He took my chin in his hands and he told me that I would come to him, because he was the most powerful, and he knew that I wanted revenge, and even if he was the one I wanted to kill, he was the only one who could teach me how. He told me that I would come no matter what, and then he left me there, sitting in the blood of two people who meant the world to me, who had never even told me that they loved me."

Silent sobs were wracking his body, and the effort of keeping his face impassive was clearly telling on him. My own emotionless façade was brutally ripped away as I could only stare in shock at the boy I held. I swallowed once, aware that tears were sliding down my own cheeks, and asked quietly, "Tell me what happened."

"The Hokage approached me. He said he knew where _he_ was. He knew vaguely what _he_ had said to me that night, and he asked me…begged me, in the interest of Konoha to go to _him _and to bring him down from the inside."

Had it been _anyone _else, I would have been holding them and telling them it would all be fine. Yes, even being an Uchiha, if it were anyone else in this situation, that's what I would be doing. But with Sasuke…

Heh. It was kind of ironic, actually. I didn't know what to do. My _own brother _was the only person I had no idea how to comfort. So all I could do was keep a firm grip on his shaking shoulders and helplessly repeat, "Tell me what happened."

"I agreed. What else was I supposed to do? I wanted _him _dead. And I knew that in the interest of Konoha, like the Hokage had said, he needed to be brought down. But you have no idea how it felt. It felt like I was _giving in_." I could have sworn that Sasuke _whimpered. _"_He_ had said that I would come to him, searching for power… And I did. Not of my own violation, but I came."

He was still shaking and sobbing silently, and I don't think that I had never been in such pain in my entire life.

"_He _was ecstatic when I came into his village. He preened over me, acting as if I was his personal pet. He would demand that I follow him around like a dog, that I answer to his every beck and call. He would make me sit beside him, and he would _stroke _me, just like I truly was a pet." Now there was a mix of pain, horror, fear and anger in his eyes, and the tears that streaked down his face must have burned.

"He would stroke my hair, my back, my arms, my face, all the while looking at me adoringly." Now Sasuke's voice was raw, agony tingeing every syllable. "Do you know what it was like to sit still and silent while the man who murdered your parents fawned and obsessed over you? Do you know what it was like to have the hands that had once been stained in your mother's and your father's blood touching you? I wanted to rip him to shreds, but I wasn't strong enough. So I had to wait, and I had to endure…"

I couldn't look at his face, as I asked, very, very softly, "Did he…?"

The words _rape you_ hung unspoken in the air, and Sasuke gave a harsh, brittle chuckle. "No, no, I would never have let him touch me like that."

I almost wanted to ask if _he _had tried, but I didn't, only saying, "Go on."

"I didn't know how to deal with it. I knew I had to stay there, because I had promised the Hokage, and I would never get another chance like this, but it was hard, so hard. It hurt physically, mentally, emotionally. The only way I was able to cope was by forming my own team within the confines of _his_ influence."

"Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo," I muttered.

"I provided more kindness than _he _did, and we all needed something. The formation of our own team gave us what we seemed to need and since _he _would never deny me anything, we were allowed to continue. _He _thought it was cute. He told me so. "

The tears that had momentarily stopped started flowing again, and the hands that had gone limp fisted once more as he said, relief and pain battling for dominance in his voice, "I have never been so happy as when I killed him. I was so relieved, because I felt like it was all over, and then I came back here with my team…"

This was the part he didn't want to say. This was the part that was affecting him now, more than anything.

It took a while, but eventually his voice came again, softer than before. "I came back, and everyone looked at me like they couldn't believe I had dared to walk back into Konoha. The Hokage said he would explain everything, but I couldn't bear for everyone to know. To know what I had done… The Hokage was worried, apologizing over and over for sending _me_ to him, but I just couldn't… I can't let anyone know. So I've had to keep quiet about it all, and as a result, no one knows what happens, and they all think that I joined _him_ only because I really did want more power." His voice was harsh now, and that borderline hysterical look was back in his eyes. "They look at me in disgust, in horror, thinking that what type of person would willing go to the man who had killed his parents. They don't understand! And I can't tell them, so they'll hate me and distrust me no matter what I do! All of them! Because they'll never know why I did what I did, and I can never tell them!"

It took me a moment to compose myself, because I was afraid that my voice would crack if I were to I felt that I could speak clearly, I took a deep breath, trying to halt the flow of tears that were sliding down my face and asked, "What did Hinata say?"

"We were talking about the village," Sasuke said. "And she said that I was doing remarkably well in relation to the villagers, despite the fact that they have a hard time connecting with me, because they don't know what happened."

"She didn't mean-" I began, but Sasuke cut me off, yelling, "I know she didn't mean anything by it! But not even she will ever fully understand, and there will always be a part of her that wonders _why_ and I can't tell her! Because if I tell her…" His voice could only be described as hopeless. "They'll all hate me even more."

I could completely understand why he hadn't wanted to tell anyone. That had been…beyond hard for him. Hopefully he wouldn't regret all of this spilling over later on. Because there were quite a few possible future scenarios going through my head that didn't have entirely happy endings.

I took a deep breath. Then another one. Then a few more. When I finally felt like I was able to speak normally, I said, "Your perception of the world is skewed, Sasuke."

I felt more than heard the growl that began in his chest, and I quickly said, "No, Sasuke, hear me out." Fortunately for me, my dear younger sibling was too exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally, to retain his anger for long, and he went limp in my hold again, allowing me to continue.

"I won't deny that most of the people in the village have a few reservations regarding you and your defection to-" I took another deep breath "-_Orochimaru_." Sasuke stiffened, but I forged ahead. "I won't deny that, but I think that there are more people that care than you are letting yourself realize."

Sasuke didn't say anything, and I found myself half coaxing, half teasing him. "Come on, Sasuke. Give everyone a chance. Don't let your own stupidity spell your destiny of loneliness."

I unconscious held my breath, hoping that he would sense my attempt, however futile it may be, to get him to relax, and not freak out and try to decapitate me. Not that he hadn't already tried that or anything.

For a few seconds, Sasuke remained absolutely still, which, for him, could have meant anything.

Then he let out a long sigh and slumped over even more.

"Fine."

Thankfully Sasuke was still having a staring contest with the ground, so he didn't see the look of sheer relief that crossed my face for the briefest of moments before I got my features under control.

I pulled Sasuke upright, since he was still hunched over, and pried his hands away from my shirt. I pushed him back just slightly, and took a moment to look at him. His face was once again a typical Uchiha mask, but the streaks that the tears had left on his face were a little obvious. And he would NOT want anyone else to see those.

"We might want to find a river before we head home," I said gently, and Sasuke just nodded once, then turned and led the way through the forest.

He spent the next few minutes erasing all traces of his breakdown, and while the cuts and scrapes on his hands still needed to be bandaged, they seemed to be fine for the moment. The walk home was slightly awkward, because no matter how much I just wanted to be the big brother and grab him and hug him to death, Sasuke was a man in his own right now, and the days when I could actually hug and talk away all his insecurities and been gone almost before he could even walk.

There are days when I hate being an Uchiha.

It was dark by the time we got home, and both of us were surprised at the amount of lights on at our house. Sasuke's team will more often than not just sit in the dark, so both of us were instantly on the alert.

If it hadn't been our own house, and if the lights hadn't been so obviously blazing, Sasuke and I probably would have slipped in through the window, keeping our movements surreptitious, but as it was, we just walked up to the front door and I opened it.

The scene that was revealed surprised me enough that I raised an eyebrow in disbelief, while it surprised the emotionally drained Sasuke enough that he had to shoot a hand out to grab the doorframe to support himself.

Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo were much where they had been previously, but now Naruto was sitting on the floor beside Suigetsu, talking animatedly, Sakura was standing behind the couch, Hinata was curled up in a chair, nervously playing with her fingers, Kakashi was standing in a corner reading his book, Ino was talking with Shikamaru, who was lying on the floor looking at the ceiling, expression bored, while Neji stood behind Hinata, listening to TenTen, Gaara, who I vaguely remembered hearing was visiting from Suna, was glaring at whoever happened to look at him, and Kiba was talking to Shino, who stood with his arms folded and his face impassive.

For a moment, the two of us just stood in the doorway, watching the commotion going on inside of our usually calm house with complete shock. I picked up snatches of conversations that all revolved around Sasuke, and whether or not he would be okay, while Sasuke just stared. This was going to be…interesting.

The first one to notice us, not surprisingly, was Hinata, who glanced over, spotted us, and slid off the chair and leapt to her feet with a cry of "Oh!"

One by one, the people sitting, standing and lying in our house fell silent, and Kakashi even shut his book, which nearly made me do a double take. Not surprisingly, Naruto was the last one to notice and stop talking.

"Hey! Teme!" Naruto yelled into the silence. "Where were you?"

For a moment, Sasuke just stared, wide, dark eyes the only outward sign of his surprise. "What-" his voice wasn't as steady as it should have been, so he stopped, cleared his throat, and said smoothly, "What are you all doing here?"

Hinata, a blush dusting her cheeks, said, "W-we were worried about you."

One of Sasuke's eyebrows arched. "All of you?"

From his position on the floor, Shikamaru muttered, "Troublesome," while Sasuke's Team Taka tried hard not to look like they were begging me for information regarding their leader's state of being.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Sakura's quiet voice immediately drew my brother's attention, as did her gentle touch to his arm. The fact that she had approached us without us noticing made me give a mental bow to her skills as a kunoichi. "Are you okay?" Her words were said as she looked quite pointedly at his scraped hands. Yeah, it wasn't like something like that would escape her notice.

Sasuke blinked. Once, twice, then, "I'm fine, actually. I'm…I'm fine."

He seemed surprised to find himself saying that.

The rest of us were surprised by the fact that he took a step forward and slightly to the side and hugged Sakura.

Then he crossed the room, pulled the stunned Naruto to his feet, and hugged him as well. Then he went to stand in front of Hinata, and after just looking at her for a moment, let out the quietest of sighs and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair.

She hesitantly returned the hug, like neither the shocked Sakura or Naruto had been able to do, and said very, very quietly, "Was it something I said?"

"Hinata, you didn't do anything wrong," my brother replied, just as quietly. Hinata, while aware that he hadn't actually answered her question, let that pass, and closed her eyes as she buried her head in his shoulder.

No one spoke for a few minutes, though everyone who had been sitting or lying had stood up, and even Shikamaru had made an effort and risen to his knees.

Predictably, the silence was broken by Naruto, who said cautiously, "Uh, Sasuke? You sure you're feeling all right?"

Sasuke immediately drew back from Hinata, turning to face everyone else, and repeated, "I'm fine."

Again, there was silence, then Shikamaru stood and said, "Good to know. Well, see you around, Uchiha." With that, he gave a vague little wave of his hand and walked past me, where I still stood holding the door open, and out into the night. After a moment of hesitation, Ino ran forward, gave Sasuke a quick hug, said, "I'm glad you're fine," and followed Shikamaru.

Neji was the next to speak, saying, "Are you satisfied?" to TenTen, who nodded once, gave Sasuke a wide smile and said, "Don't worry us so much." Neji just met Sasuke's eyes and nodded once, to which Sasuke nodded back. I wonder who else noticed Neji slip his hand into TenTen's as the walked out the door.

Next was Kiba, who punched Sasuke in the arm and said, "If you ever make our Hinata worry like that again… We'll kill you, man! So… just don't make her worry."

Shino didn't say anything.

Once they had left, Gaara turned his general glare into a specific glare which he focused on Sasuke, who instinctively glared back.

Then Sasuke relaxed, and Gaara did the same. A faint strain of gratitude bled into my little brother's eyes, and the barest trace of a smile drifted across Gaara's face before he sent a smile at Naruto and walked past me as everyone else had done.

That left Team Taka, Sasuke's former teammates, and Hinata. Hinata, looking around, reached out and squeezed Sasuke's hand once. If I hadn't been looking for it, I would have missed the very slight wince that came from the press against his injuries. When Sasuke looked at Hinata, she just gave him a small smile. He held her gaze for a few heartbeats, then nodded once. She smiled once again, then bowed to the remainder of the people in the house and said, "Good night. I am glad that you found Sasuke-kun, Itachi-sama."

I nodded at her, much like Sasuke had done, and she past with a small smile for me too. Once she was out the door, I took a step inside, though I left the door open.

Sakura shot me a glance that was clearly asking about Sasuke's hands, and I shook my head, implying that I could deal with it while Naruto scratched the back of his head, asking once more, "You're _sure _that you're fine, teme?"

Sasuke scowled at him. "Dobe."

"Hey!" Naruto yelled, fisting his hands. Then he relaxed, letting his hands go limp in a remarkable show of control as far as the blond went. Naruto nodded once, then said, "Okay. Okay, I'll take that. I will let that go, this one night." Sakura, who had been tensing up for a fight between her two best friends that she thought was inevitable, breathed a visible sigh of relief. When Naruto continued, "But you had better tell me what all that was, teme!" she just shook her head and smiled.

Sakura grabbed Naruto by the arm and said, "I'm really glad that you're okay, Sasuke. You'll tell us if anything else it wrong, right?"

Sasuke blinked, then said, "I'll…think about it."

Sakura gave him a final hug, knowing that that was as good as she was going to get, and Sasuke returned the hug with the barest amount of pressure as he hesitantly put his arms around her, not looking as at ease as he could have.

That made me smile. No matter how bad things got, Sasuke was never going to be entirely comfortable with hugs. He was an Uchiha, after all.

With a final smile from Sakura and meaningful glare from Naruto, accompanied by a growled, "You aren't getting out of this one, teme!" the two left, which meant that only those of us who lived at the house and Kakashi were still there. Kakashi had opened up his book again.

After a few moments of slightly awkward silence, Kakashi glanced up, his one visible eye blinking once before he said, "Oh, did everyone leave?"

Obviously, that questioned didn't need to be answered, so he just nodded to himself and began making his way across the room to the door.

As he passed Sasuke, all he said was, "You always did have problems, kid. Get over them, would you? And bandage your hands. You never know what's been on those trees."

The barest flicker of a smile crossed Sasuke's face, before it was gone, replaced by the usual aloof expression.

Kakashi walked out the still open door, raising a hand in a wave without looking up from his book.

He shut the door behind him, and then it was just the five of us.

Sasuke was looking down at the floor, his face creased in thought, and his Team Taka was staring at him with wide, almost disturbingly childlike eyes. Karin's eyes kept on flitting between Sasuke's face and his hands.

Eventually Sasuke looked up at them and said, "You really shouldn't worry about me so much. It isn't like I can't take care of myself."

Brief flashes of relief showed in all three of their gazes, because they knew how to listen to what he didn't say well enough to know that he had just thanked them for being concerned.

"Go to sleep," he told them, and I had a brief, pained reminder of when our mother used to say that.

Jugo, Suigetsu and Karin immediately stood and nodded to him, before heading towards the stairs and their respective rooms. The brief moment of hesitation told me that they wanted to say something to him, but I figured that could wait until night, when they would sneak into his room to talk to him. So they filed out, up the stairs and out of sight.

Then it was just us.

Really, it shouldn't have been awkward. I had just witnessed a complete and total emotional breakdown on his part. He had just confessed his deepest secrets and fears. And we_ still _couldn't carry on a conversation.

There are days that I _hate _being an Uchiha.

Sasuke was looking at the floor again, and I realized that his look of intense concentration was not actually him thinking, it was him trying to restrain the emotions that were still running rampant through him.

I really didn't know what to say, so it was Sasuke who eventually broke the silence, shifting his head just slightly, to indicate that he was speaking to me. "Don't tell anyone."

I took a moment to consider exactly how I wanted to phrase my response, then I said, "I won't if you will."

Sasuke almost flinched back from my words, and feeling something had to be added, I said, "You don't have to tell everything. Just part of it. Allow them to understand just a little bit of what happened to you."

"They-"

I cut him off before he could say what I knew he would say. "Give them a chance. They'll understand more than you think they will."

When he still didn't reply, I said, "Sasuke, you disappeared for less than three _hours _and they all showed up at our house, clearly concerned."

"Not all of them were concerned. Kiba and Shino just came because Hinata was worried. Neji came because of TenTen. Gaara came because of Naruto. Shikamaru came because of Ino."

"Skewed perception, foolish little brother," I said, eliciting a growl from my sibling. "They came because _they_ cared. What else were those looks between you and Neji and you and Gaara? What was with the hug Ino gave you? What was with the fact that Shikamaru actually got up from the floor, and Kakashi shut his book?"

Sasuke's hands clenched.

"They _care_, little brother. They care, I care, and no matter what you may think, I _know_ that Mother and Father cared."

My last words brought a gasp from him, though this time he was able to restrain his tears.

"I- I don't think that- Well, I don't know if-" I shook my head in disgust at myself. I was _never_ inarticulate. I sighed deeply and said, "I don't know how to deal with this, Sasuke. I'm not good with emotions."

There. I had admitted that I wasn't perfect. That I was lacking something.

"I don't know what to do," I said again. "But I know that there are people who care."

Sasuke was silent for long enough that I began to worry.

But all my worries were flooded away when Sasuke met my questing gaze and said, very softly, "Sometimes, Itachi, you're not so bad at this older brother thing."

I didn't even care that the shock I felt must have showed on my face.

My biggest fear. That had _always _been my biggest fear. That I would fail in my roll as an older brother. That Sasuke would live his life with his entire family unable to give him the love that he needed. That I would be nothing beyond an example of perfection to my baby brother, and now…

The typical Uchiha smirk was on Sasuke's face in an instant, and he said, "Careful, Itachi. Let's not let too many emotions show, huh?"

I swatted him on the back of the head.

"You," I told him flatly, "Are the evil spawn of the devil."

"Considering the fact that we're brothers, I'd say that you're in the same boat as me."

Brothers. We were brothers. We _felt_ like brothers.

"Sasuke…" I really had been intending to say something, but nothing came out, and Sasuke flat-out grinned, saying, "I think we've both exceeded the limit of our word quota for the day. Maybe even the week."

I didn't grin back at him… But I did smile. A small, hesitant smile. But it was a smile.

The sweetness of the brotherly bonding would almost have made me sick besides the fact that, well… I was one of the people bonding. Huh. Did this mean I wasn't allowed to mock other bonding moments my brother had? Because _that_ would kill me.

"Well," I said. "Let's get your hands bandaged. And then you get to go clean up your room."

Sasuke's grin melted into a scowl.

Heh. Just as I thought. He hadn't remembered that one.

He still hasn't told anyone else to my knowledge, but I'm wiling to give him time. It isn't exactly an easy thing to share, what he told me. His friends—who I _know_ are and ever will be his _friends_—still wonder, but they instinctively know to let them come to him. He will, eventually… For all I know it might take until they're all eighty, but hey, everything in its due time, right?

Do I understand my brother better? Certain aspects of him, yes. It's strange to think that I always thought that the emotion so often in his eyes was anger. The realization that for a great deal of things it isn't anger at all, but pain, is a realization that I am sure at times hurts me more than it hurts him. But that realization also brings a relief that I didn't know I wanted, and since our little heart-to-heart that night, a weight I didn't know was there has been lifted.

Of course, it isn't as if there aren't more weights to lift. It isn't like everything is perfect, because things are far from that. There are still days when I want to kill my little brother, because he's an idiot, and there are days when he wants to kill me because I am, well, me. There are still things I don't tell him and I know there are things he doesn't tell me, but I also know that if I needed to know, he would tell me. And if he needed to know, I would tell him. That wasn't a reassurance that we had before, and while it's never been spoken aloud, both of us know now. We are there for each other. We will always be there for each other. Though neither of us would ever admit it.

And this doesn't count.

And since it doesn't count, I might as well say this as well.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my baby brother. Nothing. Except maybe admit this out loud.

Tch. Stupid Uchihas.

* * *

**Author's Notes: As stated at the top, this is an extended version of part of "Things Learned." This part makes me much happier than the original part, because it appeals to my long-windedness, which is great. So I like this part. Also, being the emotional wreck I am, I started crying while writing this extended version... Yeesh. I'm such a baby, let me tell you. Again, I hope it was as good as the original, and I hope it made sense (because I do strive for sense!) and since you've taken the time to read it... Surely you can leave a review? I absolutely love hearing your thoughts, and I feel most privileged when I get reviews. **

**Many and much thanks if you made it this far.**

**~Snake**


End file.
